Whose reponsibility is is anyway?

In the Proclamation to the World, it says, “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

Each parent is responsible for fulfilling their role as a father or mother to their children.  Whether it is to lovingly encouraging or to support each other in their role, it is important that these things are done in a positive way without fault finding or blame.  There is nothing wrong with the mother initiating FHE or scripture study.  When a father sees the importance of this, he may step up and begin to initiate it himself.  Everyone is at a different place on their “path”, and if we are understanding to one another and kind to one another when we may not do everything perfectly, it will go a long way in strengthening the marriage.  While it is a part of the husband’s priesthood duty to lead in scripture study and Family Home Evening, if a wife complains that the husband isn’t the first to initiate scripture study, she is “casting the first stone”.  She must look carefully at herself and see if there is anything in her parenting that is not perfect.  We do not need to be perfect, we just need to be heading in the right direction.  Maybe there may be a time in her life where family scripture study is not as important to her, or she is not finding the time to do it and the husband can help her out.  Instead of focusing on what each other is doing wrong, let us instead focus on what we can do better ourselves, always trying to look for the good in each other and encouraging righteous efforts.

 In the scriptures, we read:

D&C 50:23-26

23 And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is

darkness.

24 That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light,

and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light

groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.

As parents, we can teach our children from the scriptures and invite the spirit into our homes.  The father and the mother are equally responsible to bring the light of the gospel into the home.

In Mosiah 4:14-15, it says:

14 And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry,

or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of

God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the

devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which

hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all

righteousness.

15 But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and

soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to

serve one another.

If we are teaching our children to study the scriptures, but not teaching them to love and to serve one another, we are “missing the mark”.

In D&C 93:36-40, it says:

36 The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light

and truth.

37 Light and truth forsake that evil one.

38 Every spirit of man was innocent in the beginning; and

God having redeemed man from the fall, men became again,

in their infant state, innocent before God.

39 And that wicked one cometh and taketh away light and

truth, through disobedience, from the children of men, and

because of the tradition of their fathers.

40 But I have commanded you to bring up your children in

light and truth.

When there is contention between husband and wife, this drives away any benefit from the spirit that may have otherwise been accomplished through scripture study.  We should be loving to each other as we fulfill our duty as their parents.

In his talk, “Good, Better, Best”, Dallin H Oaks says, “The time a

family spends together “eating meals at home [is] the

strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement

and psychological adjustment.” Family mealtimes

have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against

children’s smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is

inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: What your

children really want for dinner is you.”

I loved this comment left by a classmate.

" “Outside the bonds of marriage, all uses of the procreative power are to one degree or another a sinful degrading and perversion of the most divine attribute of men and women.” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks)  I grew up in the Church, so of course I was taught that chastity was important and breaking those commandments was wrong.  But after listening and reading Elder Holland's talk "Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments," I finally was able to connect the dots of everything I'd been taught.  Why is the Law of Chastity so important?  Because the procreative powers are the only portion of God's power to which we have a direct connection.  It is a symbol of our divinity and the future we can have in the eternities.  If we take this lightly during this life, then we mock what makes God who He is and deny the sacred aspect of our being His children."

Celestial Marriage

I would like to focus my thoughts on some things I had not fully realized.  I loved these quotes from Elder Bednar’s talk, “Honorable Hold a Name and a Standing”.
These scriptures help us understand that the process
of taking upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ that is
commenced in the waters of baptism is continued and
enlarged in the house of the Lord. As we stand in the waters
of baptism, we look to the temple. As we partake of the
sacrament, we look to the temple. We pledge to always
remember the Savior and to keep His commandments as
preparation to participate in the sacred ordinances of the
temple and receive the highest blessings available through
the name and by the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ. Thus,
in the ordinances of the holy temple we more completely and
fully take upon us the name of Jesus Christ.

I had not previously thought that part of the baptismal covenants we make at baptism were completed in the temple.  It makes sense that our covenants are interconnected, I just had not thought of them in that way.
I also love a quote from the talk by Bruce R. McConkie entitled, “Celestial Marriage”.
We cannot shout praises to the name of the Lord
Jehovah, who is the Lord Jesus, to the extent that we should
in order to honor him properly for all that he has done for
us and for the possibilities that lie ahead because he took
upon himself our sins on conditions of repentance. The work
of God the Father was creation, and the work of Christ the
Son was redemption. We are men, and our work—building
on the foundation that God our Father laid and that Christ
his Son has established—is to do the part assigned to us in
order to inherit the glory and honor and dignity of which
I speak. In general terms, that means that we are to accept
and believe the law. We are to believe in Christ and live his
law, be upright and clean, have our sins washed away in the
waters of baptism, become new creatures by the power of the
Holy Ghost, and walk in paths of truth and righteousness.

I feel this can be applied to how often and how seriously we attend to our responsibility to attend the temple and keep our temple covenants.

Going back to President Bednar's talk, he says,
“I have come to understand better the protection available through our
temple covenants and what it means to make an acceptable
offering of temple worship. There is a difference between
church-attending, tithe-paying members who occasionally
rush into the temple to go through a session and those
members who faithfully and consistently worship in the
temple.”
This gives me a desire to make it a priority to not only attend the temple, but to attend regularly and to help my children to have the opportunity to attend as well.

"Honorably Hold Name and a Standing" By Elder Bednar

I would strongly recommend reading the entire talk, "Honorably Hold a Name and a Standing" By Elder Bednar.
 I hadn't thought of the temple as being the "garners".  I love the idea that we need to not only focus on baptism and the covenants made at baptism.  We need to have a vision of eternity and what it takes to complete our mission on this earth in qualifying for the blessings that can be ours in eternity as we strive to be worthy and to attend the temple.
When reading Elder Bednar's talk, I loved his explanation for this verse.
“Behold, the field was ripe, and blessed are ye, for ye did thrust in the sickle, and did reap with your might, yea, all the day long did ye labor; and behold the number of your sheaves! And they shall be gathered into the garners, that they are not wasted” (Alma 26:5).
I assumed the garners were just the place where sheaves are stored as a matter of tradition during that time period.  Elder Bednar tells us “the garners are holy temples.”I love the next verse and how explanatory it is for us.  It is so relevant to missionaries in their focus in missionary work.
“Yea, they shall not be beaten down by the storm at the last day; yea, neither shall they be harrowed up by the whirlwinds; but when the storm cometh they shall be gathered together in their place, that the storm cannot penetrate to them; yea, neither shall they be driven with fierce winds whithersoever the enemy listeth to carry them” (Alma 26:6).
A member of our class pointed out the next verse...
“But behold, they are in the hands of the Lord of the harvest, and they are his; and he will raise them up at the last day.” (Alma 26:7)
I love that!  We can receive special protection through making and keeping temple covenants that are not available in any other way.  My son who is on a mission right now has been able to go to the temple several times with people he has been involved in bringing into the gospel.
I feel my children also need that protection afforded through temple attendance and worship.  I want this summer to be a summer they remember as a "temple" summer.  I want them to remember the importance of the temple and feel of the protection it affords.   When we remember and keep our covenants as well as affording those who have passed on to obtain the blessings of the covenants of the gospel, we will be shielded and protected from the storms of life.  We will be in “the hands of the Lord of the harvest . . . and he will raise [us] up at the last day.”



 Honorably Hold a Name and a Standing, David A. Bednar, Ensign May 2009

Cost of Riches

Since the well being of our families depend so much on how money is handled, I loved this article.
The Cost of Riches
Elder Lynn G. Robbins, “The Cost of Riches,” Ensign, Jun 2003, 24
In early Church history, members were constantly on the move—from
New York to Ohio to Missouri and then to Nauvoo and beyond. Building
new homes was a frequent chore. Many of the homes were modest by
today’s standards, sometimes measuring just 12 feet by 12 feet (3.6 m).
However, when Mary Richards moved into her new log cabin at Winter
Quarters after spending the winter in a tent, she remarked, “Our little
house seemed to me almost like a palace.”1 Interesting how grateful her
attitude was, even when she had so very little.
Today Mary Richards’s cabin would be dwarfed by most homes. It seems that while the
average home has increased in size, the average family has decreased in size; and while
homes have more time‐saving devices, the average family spends less time together.
Affluence is up, but happiness is down, as indicated by rising divorce rates. Why isn’t more
money buying greater happiness?
What Is Sufficient?
In his book How Much Is Enough? Alan Thein Durning says that in the 1990s, people were
“on average four‐and‐a‐half times richer than their great‐grandparents were at the turn of
the century, but they [were] not four‐and‐a‐half times happier.”2 The authors of the book
Your Money or Your Life suggest that fulfillment seems to increase during the initial stages of
spending, when one is buying necessities and some nice things, but begins to decrease with
excess spending.3 If that is true, one of life’s most fundamental questions should be, “What is
sufficient for our family to be happy?” Our success will depend not only on answering the
question “What do we need to be happy?” but also on answering the question “What don’t
we need to be happy?”
Because the natural man’s perceived needs are forever expanding, “sufficient” is forever
elusive, and his time is increasingly devoted to money and the things of this world. Take the
extreme case of Prince Jefri Bolkiah, brother of the Sultan of Brunei, for example. The prince
squandered $15 billion by building marinas, palaces, and apartment complexes and
purchasing luxury hotels, aircraft, thousands of cars, and so on. His panicked brother finally
had to cut the purse strings and limit him to a monthly allowance of $300,000.4 For the
natural man, there is never enough money.
Along with obeying the law of tithing and avoiding unnecessary debt, one of the most oftrepeated
financial principles taught by the prophets is to live within our means, regardless
of our income. If Satan can tempt us to overpurchase, we risk not only becoming a time
slave to unnecessary debt but also being “time‐consumed” with too many things of this
world. The result is less time for the Lord and for our family.
More Money Equals Less Time
Juliet B. Schor, who teaches economics at Harvard University, says that due to
improvements in productivity, Americans could work 22‐hour workweeks if they were
satisfied with a 1948 standard of living. While we are certainly grateful for the progress
made since 1948, that would give many of us at least 18 extra hours per week!5
In the book Your Money or Your Life, the authors convincingly illustrate how everything we
buy consumes a part of our life—hence the title of their book.6 Applying simple math to an
hourly wage, for example, can illustrate how upgrading to a bigger home (or an unnecessary
home equity loan on an existing home) could cost an extra 5 or 10 years of life to purchase,
depending on its cost. And if not 10 years of the father’s life, then perhaps 10 years of the
mother’s life as a second wage earner. When we spend beyond what is sufficient, the tradeoff
is less time.
It has been said that a rich man doesn’t own his things; rather, his things begin to own him.
“A thatched roof once covered free men; under marble and gold dwells slavery.”7 In his book
Clutter’s Last Stand, Don Aslett gives us additional insight into this self‐imposed slavery.
Each item we accumulate, he says, “stifles us and robs us of freedom because it requires so
much of our time to tend.” He writes further: “We have to pay for it, keep track of it, protect
it, clean it, store it, insure it, and worry about it. … Later we have to move it, hide it,
apologize for it, argue over it. … But these things are valuable, you say? What about the
value of the life and time to store, to clean, to insure, to transport, to protect—what does
that cost? More than money.”8
Being Content
One antonym for greed, and perhaps the antidote to it, is contentment. The Apostle Paul
stated, “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Philip. 4:11).
Contentment and gratitude are essential if one is to be truly happy.
The ability to be content was one of Benjamin Franklin’s greatest traits. It had a profound
impact on his life and upon the new nation he helped to found. Author Catherine Drinker
Bowen writes of Franklin: “He was forty‐two when he retired. … Had Franklin stayed in
business there is little doubt he could have amassed a fortune … the kind of estate built up
in America by royal governors. … Once assured of a competence, he showed no desire for
increasing it; Franklin never changed his simple style of living and seemed to have no
ambition for outward show.”9
For Franklin, “outward show” was dangerous. He said: “The eyes of other people are the eyes
that ruin us. If all but myself were blind, I should want neither fine clothes, fine houses, nor
fine furniture.”10 He knew time is the one thing that is purchased by not spending money.
With more time, he was available to help establish a free land where the gospel could be
restored (see D&C 101:80).
President Brigham Young (1801–77) also understood the value of spending his time on that
which is most important. After gaining a testimony of the restored gospel, “he gave away
many of his possessions and reduced his business.” This downsizing gave Brigham Young a
gift of time that he could devote to building the kingdom. “He served a series of missions. He
held meetings and baptized in the countryside surrounding Mendon. He also traveled into
upper New York and Ontario, Canada, to preach the gospel and bear witness that Joseph
Smith was a prophet of God.”11
Of course, the Savior Himself is the greatest example of proper prioritizing. With few
possessions to distract Him, He focused all of His time and effort on His mission. The Lord
doesn’t expect us to seek out poverty, but His counsel is direct: “Thou shalt lay aside the
things of this world, and seek for the things of a better” (D&C 25:10) and “A man’s life
consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth” (Luke 12:15).
Putting the Family First
Benjamin Franklin said, “When you have bought one fine thing you must buy ten more, that
your appearance may be all of a piece; … ‘’tis easier to suppress the first desire than to
satisfy all that follow it.’ ”12 This is especially true with today’s tendency to purchase the
biggest home possible, which requires not just 10 more “fine things” but hundreds to fill it.
Families with barely affordable mortgage payments often turn to credit cards or a second
wage earner to pay for these fine things. Too often the result is ever‐increasing debt,
manifest by record numbers of people filing for bankruptcy.
The pioneers had to discern what their true needs were. As they hurriedly left Nauvoo, they
took with them essentials such as food, clothing, blankets, cooking utensils, and perhaps a
few extras that weren’t life sustaining but were nevertheless precious, such as a favorite
rocking chair. They tearfully left other keepsakes behind.
The trek that lay before the pioneers was not easy, but with faith they began their westward
march. Then they came to the slopes of the Rocky Mountains. The trail that was manageable
before seemed almost insurmountable now. Many had to lighten their load and again face
the difficult process of choosing what to leave behind. Subsequent travelers migrating west
on the same trail would come across tools, chairs, and other valuables left to decay and rust
on the plains at the foot of the Rockies.
The Saints who had to make these sacrifices must have made many longing backward
glances as they continued their journey. Yet while they left many cherished items behind,
they didn’t leave behind their most precious asset: their children. That would have been
unthinkable.
Now, some 150 years later, we are facing different challenges but a similar choice.
Tragically, this time it isn’t furniture and fineries that are being left behind but our children.
Believing that possessions and “personal fulfillment” are paramount, many parents are
leaving the primary care of their children to day‐care centers. Some, such as single parents,
may have no choice, but others do. The Savior tells us:
“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, …
“But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt,
and where thieves do not break through nor steal” (3 Ne. 13:19–20). Surely we should
consider our family to be among our greatest treasures.
In “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” we learn that “the family is central to the
Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”13 Since the family is central, then the
most important work we do, according to President Harold B. Lee (1899–1973), is “within
the walls of [our] own home.”14 Note the word within. Parents earn money outside the home
to make a living, but they spend time inside the home to make a life.
The cycle of affluence leading to pride is depicted numerous times in the Book of Mormon.
The Lord warns us, “The riches of the earth are mine to give; but beware of pride, lest ye
become as the Nephites of old” (D&C 38:39). We would be wise to avoid the Nephites’
mistakes by being wary of “outward show,” learning what is sufficient for our true
happiness, and discovering how to be content. I believe these principles are deserving of
our sincere pondering and prayer.
Notes
1. Quoted in William W. Slaughter, “The Strength of Sacrifice,” Ensign, Apr. 1997, 38.
2. (1992), 23.
3. Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin (1992).
4. See Seth Mydans, “Gluttony Is Undoing of Brunei,” Deseret News, 17 Aug. 2001.
5. The Overworked American (1991).
6. Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin (1992).
7. Seneca, quoted in John de Graaf and others, Affluenza: The AllConsuming
Epidemic (2001), 125.
8. (1984), 5, 4, 46.
9. The Most Dangerous Man in America (1974), 59.
10. Quoted in Andrew M. Allison and others, The Real Benjamin Franklin (1987), 364.
11. Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young (Melchizedek Priesthood and Relief Society course of
study, 1997), 3.
12. The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanac, and Other Papers (n.d.), 227.
13. Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.
14. In Conference Report, Apr. 1973, 130; or Ensign, July 1973, 98

Falling Out of Love...and Climbing Back In

I love this.  Being positive and looking for the good in our children will save those relationships as well.:)

Falling Out of Love … and Climbing Back In
Name Withheld, Ensign, Jan 2005, 50–53.
The key to fixing my marriage was to learn to see my husband as the Savior saw him.
By worldly standards falling in love is an easy thing to do. Unfortunately, falling out of love
can be easy as well. But falling back into love after falling out is extremely difficult. People
don’t fall back into love; they climb back in. This can be a long, difficult journey, but it is
extremely rewarding. I know from experience.
“Heavenly Father, I don’t know what to do!” I had stormed out of the house after a
particularly nasty argument with my husband. It was November and very cold. I left without
shoes or a coat, but I was so upset I hardly noticed. Our marriage wasn’t physically abusive,
but it seemed we fought all the time—or at least whenever he was home, which wasn’t very
often. He stayed late at work almost every day and seemed to spend the rest of his time at
the golf course. I couldn’t blame him. Home was just as miserable for him as it was for me.
So there I was in the cold, wearing just a thin T‐shirt and jeans, pouring out my misery to
Heavenly Father. As I prayed I realized I no longer loved my husband. I didn’t particularly
like him either.
It seemed I had two options. I could leave and get a divorce, or I could stay and be
miserable. Neither option seemed very inviting. If I left, my marriage would fail and I would
have to give up my hope for an eternal family. I would force my children to suffer because of
my decision, and they would spend their childhood in a home with only one parent.
On the other hand, if I stayed, I would be ignoring the fact that we were failing anyway. I
would not have an eternal family, because we certainly weren’t heading toward the celestial
kingdom. I would be forcing my children to live in a very unhappy home because Mom and
Dad didn’t like each other and could barely look at one another without taking offense.
“Heavenly Father,” I prayed, “neither choice is good. Please tell me what to do.”
That’s when a new thought entered my mind. The right choice was one I had ignored. I
could stay, love Mark (name has been changed), and be happy. That seemed a much better
choice. Although I had no idea how I was to accomplish such a thing, the thought of having
my happy family back made me feel I could turn around and go home.
During the next few weeks I tried to fall back in love with Mark but found only frustration.
My best efforts seemed to fail. I tried to be nicer to him. But when I cooked him a fancy
dinner I knew he liked, he showed up late. When I did small things for him that I thought
showed love, he didn’t notice, which upset me even more. Despite all my efforts, he didn’t
experience the miraculous transformation I was hoping for. After three weeks I was closer
to giving up than ever before.
I returned to Heavenly Father in prayer. I’m ashamed to say it wasn’t the most humble of
prayers. “It won’t work,” I informed Him. “Mark’s too much of a jerk. I can’t love him if he’s
not willing to help me out a little. I tried and it didn’t work.
“Can’t You help me?” I asked. “Can’t You make him a little nicer? Could You please just fix
him?”
Almost at once came the strong impression: “Fix yourself.”
“I’m not the problem,” I thought. I was sure of that. I started listing all Mark’s terrible traits
that just couldn’t be overlooked and that were, most definitely, the problem.
Again inside my troubled mind I felt, “Fix yourself.”
“OK,” I prayed more humbly now, “I will but I don’t know how. Please guide me. Please tell
me what to do.”
Each day I prayed, pleading with the Lord to guide me. I knelt in many lengthy prayers,
informing Him how important this was, trying to convince Him to help me, but it seemed
nothing came.
Insight finally arrived through our Gospel Doctrine teacher. During class we read Moroni
7:47–48 [Moro. 7:47–48]: “But charity is the pure love of Christ. … Wherefore, my beloved
brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this
love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.”
We discussed what charity is. It is love that Jesus Christ has for each of us. I learned that the
Savior knows what is good in each of us. He can find something worthy of loving in every
person.
The teacher referred us back to the scriptures. “It says in verse 48 that charity is a gift from
the Father that is bestowed on you. Charity is not something you can develop on your own.
It must be given to you. So there’s a neighbor who makes you angry or someone you don’t
like. What’s the problem? The problem is you don’t have charity, the pure love of Christ,
toward him or her. How do you get it? You need to ‘pray unto the Father with all the energy
of heart’ and ask Him to give you charity toward that person. You need to ask to see that
person through the Savior’s eyes so you will be able to see him or her as good and lovable.”
This was my answer. If I could see Mark from the Savior’s perspective, I couldn’t help but
love him. It seemed such an easy thing to do, much easier than anything I had tried so far. I
would just ask for charity, God would give it to me, and that would solve my problem. But I
should have known Heavenly Father would require at least a little work from me.
I knelt in prayer that night and asked for charity toward my husband. I asked to feel a
portion of the love that Jesus Christ felt for Mark, to see the good things about him that He
could see. Then the thought came to me very strongly that I should already know good
things about Mark and I should name them. I thought for a long time. I hadn’t focused on
good things in quite a while. Finally I said, “He looked nice today.” I was prompted to say
another thing. “He takes out the garbage when I ask.” Another. “He works hard.” Another.
“He’s good with the kids.” Another. I couldn’t think of anything else.
The next night before bed I asked for charity and was again prompted to say good things
about Mark. This was hard work. I wasn’t used to focusing on the positive. I was used to
cataloging all his faults so I could correct them.
I soon realized I would be saying good things about him each night for a while and decided
it would be infinitely easier if I paid attention throughout the day. The next day I watched
closely and came up with 10 good things about him—a new record! This became my goal:
10 good things before I went to bed. On good days it was easy. On bad days the last three
were along the lines of “His hair looked good” or “I liked the jeans he wore.” But I did it
every night.
After a while I started making myself name 10 positive things each time I had a negative
thought. With those odds, I didn’t let myself dwell on Mark’s faults very often.
Slowly something wonderful was happening. First, I began to realize that Mark wasn’t the
big jerk I thought he was. He had many wonderful traits that I had overlooked or forgotten.
Second, in the absence of my nagging, Mark started fixing a lot of the bad habits I had
hounded him about for so long. As soon as I stopped feeling I had to be responsible for his
actions, he started taking the responsibility upon himself. I was enjoying my time with
Mark, and there was more of it because he stopped working so many hours.
We had come so far, but there was still one problem: I felt no love for Mark. It just wasn’t
there. I longed for that feeling of connection, the feeling that we belonged together. I had
been praying every day for five months now, asking to feel the love that Christ felt for him. I
pleaded with God even harder to give me love for Mark. “I am happy with our progress,” I
told Him. “Our family is much stronger than ever before. If this is the best I can have, I will
be satisfied. But if I could just love Mark, even a little, that would be the most cherished
blessing I could receive.”
I remember vividly the moment that blessing was bestowed. We were playing games at my
parents’ house one evening. I looked across the table at Mark, and suddenly, out of the blue,
the strongest, most vibrant, most intense love I had ever felt hit me almost like a physical
force. My eyes welled up with tears, and I was awed by the strength of my feelings. There,
sitting across from me, was my eternal companion, whom I loved more than words could
express. His infinite worth was so brilliant I couldn’t believe I had ever been able to
overlook it. I felt to some degree what the Savior felt for my Mark, and it was beautiful.
It has been several years since that special evening, and the memory still brings tears to my
eyes. It’s frightening to think I almost gave up, almost missed this experience.
My marriage is very good now—not perfect, but very, very good. I refuse to let my love slip
away again. I make a conscious effort each day to nourish the love I have for Mark. And I feel
the deepest gratitude to a patient, loving Heavenly Father for helping me fix myself.

" I didn't know I had it in me" "...Nevertheless, I have been highly favored of the Lord..."

I really liked this little story from Brother Hafen's talk "Covenant Marriage" about when his wife stayed up late helping their 4th grade son with a project.  At the end of the project, the son ran and gave her a hug. After asking how she did it, she told Brother Hafen, "I just made up my mind that I couldn't leave him no matter what.  I didn't know I had it in me."
I love how he compared it to marriage.  It is after we make a commitment and keep it that we receive strength. He said "When we observe the covenants we make at the altars of sacrifice, we receive reservoirs of strength."  We will all have challenges in our lives.  The Lord intended it to be that way.  In the introduction to the first chapter of Nephi, he talks about the many afflictions he has experiences and yet he says he has been highly favored of the Lord.  It is interesting that those two things are in the same sentence.  We can learn from him that the Lord loves us and will not take away our afflictions, rather, that is how he draws us closer to Him.  Sometimes trials are seen as punishments but rather they are opportunities to learn by experience to learn from our Father in Heaven.  It is through our experiences that we become closer to and more like Him.