A friend's post... So good!

For my Family Citizenship Capstone Project I read the book, "Covenant Hearts" by Bruce C. Hafen.  I had read several of his talks and was impressed with their content.  I have a brother who is on the brink of divorce, and this book seemed like it may offer some good suggestions for advice.  I also really enjoy reading books that are designed to strengthen and uplift. 

I highlighted passages from the book that relate to advice for others in yellow, and advice for myself in pink.  I was stunned by the amount of pink in the book as I looked back through the pages after finishing my reading.  The book really does offer good insight and tips on how to improve marriage relationships, as well as things to watch out for. 

Elder Hafen writes about three types of wolves that inevitably come into marriages seeking to wreck them,  "Wolves of adversity", "wolves of personal imperfection", and "wolves of excessive individuality".  The test is to determine if we are shepherds who stay by our flock (spouse and children), or the hireling who will run off and abandon the flock as the wolves emerge.  Elder Hafen shares this insight, “The point is a simple one: Marriage is a partnership of equals whose most essential roles both revolve around the their families. Each of them also strives individually to become a fully rounded disciple of Christ, developing Christian attributes as a complete spiritual being. In that quest, both husband and wife have strong reasons to listen to each other, to follow each other, to discipline themselves so that the voice of each deserves to be heard by the other.” 

He speaks of the difference between a ""contractual" marriage and a "covenant" one.  A covenant marriage is one where we consider our spouse as we do ourselves.  Their problems and troubles  become ours.  We learn compassion as we work on together growing closer to the Lord.  A covenant marriage contemplates the significance of the past and the future of our current family.  In Elder Hafen's words, "We stand clasping the past with one hand and the future with the other.  That perspective helps us desire a marriage that succeeds "for the sake of the children"--not only for the sake of the immediate children but as part of building a multigenerational Zion wherever we live.  Without such an eternal, intergenerational 'welding link', neither we nor our ancestors nor our posterity can be made perfect."

Why I did this blog

The purpose of this blog was to share the LDS church's philosophy on the family as well as to record some of my thoughts and feelings as I have learned and studied more about what we believe as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I feel I have a better understanding and conviction of the truthfulness of the doctrine.  I can defend my beliefs more articulately when I understand them better.  I am hoping that my children will benefit from these entries and from my personal testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
The family is ordained of God.  I want my children to know that.  I want them to realize the importance of our family and the eternal nature of the family unit when they make decisions in this life.  I want them to strive to protect our family and their future families against the evils of this world.  Whether it is apathy, criticism, or disobedience to commandments of God, all are destructive to the family and I want them to understand the detrimental effects these things have upon future generations and the very unit we need to protect.  Most of all, I want them to know that I believe in the family unit and have a testimony of the importance of the family in the eternities.  God will not be mocked and when the family is attacked, it is an attack on His plan.  Heaven is organized in family units.   We not only need our families to make it through this life, but it is the very organization of Heaven.

Religious Freedom

I loved Robert D Hales talk "Preserving Agency, Preserving Religious Liberty". 
He said, "As we walk the path of spiritual liberty in these last days, we must understand that the faithful use of our agency depends upon our having religious freedom.  We already know that Satan does not want this freedom to be ours.  He attempted to destroy moral agency in heaven, and now on earth he is fiercely undermining, opposing, and spreading confusion about religious freedom--what it is and why it is essential to our spiritual life and our very salvation."
So many time, people try to intimidate Christian people, whether for our belief that homosexual behavior is wrong or our wearing of our temple garments.  I am grateful for the reminder that we must not give in to the temptation to not defend our religion.  As Robert D Hales says, "...our spiritual life and our very salvation" depends upon it.

Whose reponsibility is is anyway?

In the Proclamation to the World, it says, “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

Each parent is responsible for fulfilling their role as a father or mother to their children.  Whether it is to lovingly encouraging or to support each other in their role, it is important that these things are done in a positive way without fault finding or blame.  There is nothing wrong with the mother initiating FHE or scripture study.  When a father sees the importance of this, he may step up and begin to initiate it himself.  Everyone is at a different place on their “path”, and if we are understanding to one another and kind to one another when we may not do everything perfectly, it will go a long way in strengthening the marriage.  While it is a part of the husband’s priesthood duty to lead in scripture study and Family Home Evening, if a wife complains that the husband isn’t the first to initiate scripture study, she is “casting the first stone”.  She must look carefully at herself and see if there is anything in her parenting that is not perfect.  We do not need to be perfect, we just need to be heading in the right direction.  Maybe there may be a time in her life where family scripture study is not as important to her, or she is not finding the time to do it and the husband can help her out.  Instead of focusing on what each other is doing wrong, let us instead focus on what we can do better ourselves, always trying to look for the good in each other and encouraging righteous efforts.

 In the scriptures, we read:

D&C 50:23-26

23 And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is

darkness.

24 That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light,

and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light

groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.

As parents, we can teach our children from the scriptures and invite the spirit into our homes.  The father and the mother are equally responsible to bring the light of the gospel into the home.

In Mosiah 4:14-15, it says:

14 And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry,

or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of

God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the

devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which

hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all

righteousness.

15 But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and

soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to

serve one another.

If we are teaching our children to study the scriptures, but not teaching them to love and to serve one another, we are “missing the mark”.

In D&C 93:36-40, it says:

36 The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light

and truth.

37 Light and truth forsake that evil one.

38 Every spirit of man was innocent in the beginning; and

God having redeemed man from the fall, men became again,

in their infant state, innocent before God.

39 And that wicked one cometh and taketh away light and

truth, through disobedience, from the children of men, and

because of the tradition of their fathers.

40 But I have commanded you to bring up your children in

light and truth.

When there is contention between husband and wife, this drives away any benefit from the spirit that may have otherwise been accomplished through scripture study.  We should be loving to each other as we fulfill our duty as their parents.

In his talk, “Good, Better, Best”, Dallin H Oaks says, “The time a

family spends together “eating meals at home [is] the

strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement

and psychological adjustment.” Family mealtimes

have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against

children’s smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is

inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: What your

children really want for dinner is you.”

I loved this comment left by a classmate.

" “Outside the bonds of marriage, all uses of the procreative power are to one degree or another a sinful degrading and perversion of the most divine attribute of men and women.” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks)  I grew up in the Church, so of course I was taught that chastity was important and breaking those commandments was wrong.  But after listening and reading Elder Holland's talk "Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments," I finally was able to connect the dots of everything I'd been taught.  Why is the Law of Chastity so important?  Because the procreative powers are the only portion of God's power to which we have a direct connection.  It is a symbol of our divinity and the future we can have in the eternities.  If we take this lightly during this life, then we mock what makes God who He is and deny the sacred aspect of our being His children."

Celestial Marriage

I would like to focus my thoughts on some things I had not fully realized.  I loved these quotes from Elder Bednar’s talk, “Honorable Hold a Name and a Standing”.
These scriptures help us understand that the process
of taking upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ that is
commenced in the waters of baptism is continued and
enlarged in the house of the Lord. As we stand in the waters
of baptism, we look to the temple. As we partake of the
sacrament, we look to the temple. We pledge to always
remember the Savior and to keep His commandments as
preparation to participate in the sacred ordinances of the
temple and receive the highest blessings available through
the name and by the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ. Thus,
in the ordinances of the holy temple we more completely and
fully take upon us the name of Jesus Christ.

I had not previously thought that part of the baptismal covenants we make at baptism were completed in the temple.  It makes sense that our covenants are interconnected, I just had not thought of them in that way.
I also love a quote from the talk by Bruce R. McConkie entitled, “Celestial Marriage”.
We cannot shout praises to the name of the Lord
Jehovah, who is the Lord Jesus, to the extent that we should
in order to honor him properly for all that he has done for
us and for the possibilities that lie ahead because he took
upon himself our sins on conditions of repentance. The work
of God the Father was creation, and the work of Christ the
Son was redemption. We are men, and our work—building
on the foundation that God our Father laid and that Christ
his Son has established—is to do the part assigned to us in
order to inherit the glory and honor and dignity of which
I speak. In general terms, that means that we are to accept
and believe the law. We are to believe in Christ and live his
law, be upright and clean, have our sins washed away in the
waters of baptism, become new creatures by the power of the
Holy Ghost, and walk in paths of truth and righteousness.

I feel this can be applied to how often and how seriously we attend to our responsibility to attend the temple and keep our temple covenants.

Going back to President Bednar's talk, he says,
“I have come to understand better the protection available through our
temple covenants and what it means to make an acceptable
offering of temple worship. There is a difference between
church-attending, tithe-paying members who occasionally
rush into the temple to go through a session and those
members who faithfully and consistently worship in the
temple.”
This gives me a desire to make it a priority to not only attend the temple, but to attend regularly and to help my children to have the opportunity to attend as well.

"Honorably Hold Name and a Standing" By Elder Bednar

I would strongly recommend reading the entire talk, "Honorably Hold a Name and a Standing" By Elder Bednar.
 I hadn't thought of the temple as being the "garners".  I love the idea that we need to not only focus on baptism and the covenants made at baptism.  We need to have a vision of eternity and what it takes to complete our mission on this earth in qualifying for the blessings that can be ours in eternity as we strive to be worthy and to attend the temple.
When reading Elder Bednar's talk, I loved his explanation for this verse.
“Behold, the field was ripe, and blessed are ye, for ye did thrust in the sickle, and did reap with your might, yea, all the day long did ye labor; and behold the number of your sheaves! And they shall be gathered into the garners, that they are not wasted” (Alma 26:5).
I assumed the garners were just the place where sheaves are stored as a matter of tradition during that time period.  Elder Bednar tells us “the garners are holy temples.”I love the next verse and how explanatory it is for us.  It is so relevant to missionaries in their focus in missionary work.
“Yea, they shall not be beaten down by the storm at the last day; yea, neither shall they be harrowed up by the whirlwinds; but when the storm cometh they shall be gathered together in their place, that the storm cannot penetrate to them; yea, neither shall they be driven with fierce winds whithersoever the enemy listeth to carry them” (Alma 26:6).
A member of our class pointed out the next verse...
“But behold, they are in the hands of the Lord of the harvest, and they are his; and he will raise them up at the last day.” (Alma 26:7)
I love that!  We can receive special protection through making and keeping temple covenants that are not available in any other way.  My son who is on a mission right now has been able to go to the temple several times with people he has been involved in bringing into the gospel.
I feel my children also need that protection afforded through temple attendance and worship.  I want this summer to be a summer they remember as a "temple" summer.  I want them to remember the importance of the temple and feel of the protection it affords.   When we remember and keep our covenants as well as affording those who have passed on to obtain the blessings of the covenants of the gospel, we will be shielded and protected from the storms of life.  We will be in “the hands of the Lord of the harvest . . . and he will raise [us] up at the last day.”



 Honorably Hold a Name and a Standing, David A. Bednar, Ensign May 2009